We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize