let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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