there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
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