So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Just high enough for therapy.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
