Buhtt sex?
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
