OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
So I just went to clothing optional bar
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize