It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Text me some of your sweat
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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