ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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