The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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