I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
