come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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