You're my little dorito
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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