Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize