Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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