I'm lost and stupid without you.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
