yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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