Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
