It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
