just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
