Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
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