Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
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