I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
