im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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