Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
