i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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