i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Randomize
