This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
