Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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