I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
