whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
