Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
