you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.