i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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