Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Randomize
