omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
