okay pat passed out under dana's car
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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