You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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