I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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