dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
