I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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