i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
