is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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