the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
she looked like the before picture.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Randomize
