This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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