I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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