My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
