I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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