school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize