You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize