what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Use "feeling words"
Yay
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
