Your tits are I can't wait for
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
