Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Randomize
