i would punch a child for taco bell
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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