My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize