OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize