you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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