I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
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